11
Aug
11

A little dose of you

A little dose of you
For me, goes a long way
A little dose of you
Gets me through my day

It lifts up my spirit
It kills my apathy
No more, will i be horrid
If i’d have your company

A little dose of you
No more am I incomplete
A little dose of you
With its desire I am replete

I ask not for much
Just a little bit
Maybe a gentle touch
And a kiss to go with it

A little dose of you
My sorrows go away
A little dose of you
A little more everyday

Advertisements

30 Responses to “A little dose of you”


  1. 1 MNA Rehan, Advocate
    August 12, 2011 at 4:28 am

    I ask not for much, Just a little bit, Maybe a gentle touch, And a kiss to go with it ———- It’s a beautiful piece of oriental cultured poetry in English Language. But the phrase “A little doze of you”, to my monies, is a pure bazaari language and in conflict of the aforementioned. Overall a good attempt and average yield by a poet an Urdu poet in exotic language in the style and diction of Urdu language.

  2. 3 Sana Gilani
    August 12, 2011 at 6:54 am

    Very nice, should have been longer though. I feel its sort of incomplete.

  3. 7 Komal
    August 12, 2011 at 11:13 am

    Happy valentines day, and this is a lovely poem, bravo πŸ™‚

  4. August 12, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    It is a very nice and touching poem…This makes me feel the loneliness that everybody possesses deep inside him/herself……Keep it up…

  5. August 12, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    Nice Work & good effort. Nicely describe the emotions/ situations which people are facing in this decades… You have to continue it, describe more if u feel too, other it’s enough too…

  6. August 12, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    Words may not be my best suit – but what you ve written is touching !

  7. 14 Dr Farrukh Gulzar
    August 12, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    Younas,a little more of variety in vocabulary,a little less of “it” and ‘dose” “doze”,and a lot more imagination,fantasy,would change it. At its best,its passionate,At its basic,its a bit too plain, i hope this helps,commented at your insistence. My second reservation is,being familiar with your political inclinations,wont it be better,if you feel a poet may be budding in you,express yourself in something more widely understood ,appreciated-try to converse your feelings in urdu bro`,yeh english to petit bourgoise ka medium hai hamaray yahanh,parhna seekhna apni jagah theek angrezi mai,lekin kaho,likho tou logon ki zubaan mai-mera yeh maan-na hai, haanh kuch majboorianh rehti hainh,like interacting on social websites,lekin unhainh bhi door kartay rehnay ki koshish karrtay rahainh,mai bhi karoonh ga, and luck-keep on trying,i`m just afraid,our straightfrowardness may not hurt our “self`s”,if it does,just ignore,it was not intended to be.

    Farrukh

  8. 16 sibite hassan
    August 13, 2011 at 8:24 am

    touching…..

  9. 18 ayesha
    August 13, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    good one:)..liked it

  10. 20 riddho
    August 14, 2011 at 9:39 am

    i liked your approach…though at times it seems a bit prosaic..nevertheless the attempt is worth an applaud….neway, i prefer bengali or urdu poetry to English….:)

  11. 21 souvik
    August 14, 2011 at 11:20 am

    nicely versed……brings out the desire for love from the very depths of the human heart….but the verses are a bit stringent or exacting if i’am allowed to say that….beating around the bush a little would have put an icing on the cake for a poem based on a topic of such versatility.

    looking forward to more….keep’em coming….good day comrade πŸ™‚

  12. August 14, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    It lifts up my spirit
    It kills my apathy
    No more, will i be horrid
    If i’d have your company
    I LOVE THIS πŸ™‚
    NICE MAN.

  13. August 14, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    As if street theatre and concerts and running a workers party wasn’t enough?! From a fellow amateur (published, mind you :p) poet, nice work comrade πŸ™‚ But since its about love you’ve gotta have richer language. Let the emotions all come out on paper.

    Also, since a dose of something seems to be the common theme of your poem, you can also use it as lyrics for a Nirvana-style drugs song πŸ˜‰ Like ‘On A Plain’? But like I said, nice work. πŸ™‚

  14. August 15, 2011 at 6:14 am

    Nyc poem but it should be more clear lyrics otherwise nyc
    Keep It up

  15. 30 himal
    August 15, 2011 at 11:02 am

    A little dose of you…very beautiful starting…and Maybe a gentle touch
    And a kiss to go with it….superb, optimistic!! love it,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: